Suicide Prevention: How to Talk to Someone Who May Be Struggling
How Everyday Connection Can Support Suicide Prevention
By Kassidy Hadix, MS, LLP
Suicide prevention isn’t only about recognizing a crisis. It’s also about noticing when someone may be struggling, asking how they’re really doing, and staying connected before they reach a crisis point.
Resources like the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline are an important part of suicide prevention. But sometimes support begins with something much simpler: taking the time to talk to someone, listen, and remind them they don’t have to go through a difficult time alone.
That kind of connection can matter more than you may realize.
Asking someone about suicide can feel intimidating. You may have thought to yourself:
What if I make it worse? What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t know what to do?
The good news is that you don’t need to have the perfect words or know exactly what to do. You just need to be willing to start the conversation.
You Don’t Need the Perfect Words
Many people notice that someone isn’t themselves but hesitate to reach out. They may worry about being intrusive, making things awkward, or saying the wrong thing.
You don’t need to be a mental health professional to show someone that you care. Sometimes, the most important thing you can do is simply start the conversation.
Start by Paying Attention to Changes
Recognizing when someone may be struggling is less about checking off a list of suicide warning signs and more about noticing when something feels different for that person.
Maybe they have started pulling away from friends and family or lost interest in things they usually enjoy. Their mood or behavior may seem different. They might talk about feeling hopeless, worthless, or like a burden.
Other concerning changes can include giving away meaningful possessions, saying goodbye in ways that feel unusual, using more alcohol or other substances, or talking about death, disappearing, or not wanting to be here. Sometimes, a person may even seem unexpectedly calm after a period of intense distress.
None of these signs automatically mean someone is suicidal, but they can be a reason to reach out and ask how they are doing.
You don’t have to wait until you’re certain something is wrong. You don’t need to know that someone is suicidal before you check in.
Don’t Be Afraid to Ask About Suicide
Asking directly about suicide does not plant the idea in someone’s head. You also don’t have to sit someone down and announce, “I’m concerned you’re suicidal.”
A calm, compassionate question can be enough.
Here are a few ways to start the conversation:
- “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed really overwhelmed lately. How are you doing?”
- “You’ve seemed like you’re carrying a lot lately. Do you want to talk about it?”
- “Sometimes when people feel this overwhelmed, they have thoughts about not wanting to be alive. Has that been happening for you?”
- “Are you thinking about suicide?”
The goal isn’t to ask the question perfectly. It’s to give someone an opportunity to talk openly and honestly about what they’re experiencing.
Listen Without Trying to Fix Everything
When someone is struggling, your job isn’t to fix everything for them. Instead, focus on helping them feel heard and less alone.
Give them your full attention and allow them to talk without immediately jumping in with advice or solutions. You can acknowledge what they’re feeling even if you don’t agree with their conclusions.
Ask open-ended questions that give them room to share what they’re experiencing, and try to avoid comparing their situation to someone else’s.
Most importantly, don’t minimize their pain. Statements like “You have so much to live for” may be well-intentioned, but they can sometimes leave someone feeling misunderstood.
Simply feeling heard, believed, and taken seriously can be more helpful than having the perfect solution.
What to Say to Someone Who Is Struggling
Knowing what to say when someone talks about suicide or emotional pain can be difficult. Try to respond in a way that acknowledges what they’re feeling and lets them know you’re listening.
Instead of: | Try: |
❌Other people have it worse.” | ✅”That sounds incredibly difficult. I’m glad you told me.” |
❌ “You wouldn’t actually do that.” | ✅ “I’m taking you seriously. Let’s figure out what support you need.” |
❌ “You have so much to live for.” | ✅ “I can hear how much you’re hurting right now.” |
❌ “Just think positive.” | ✅ “You don’t have to figure everything out right now. I’m here with you.” |
Know When to Bring in More Support
Supporting someone doesn’t mean you have to handle a suicide crisis by yourself.
If someone tells you they’re thinking about suicide, stay with them or help them connect with someone they trust. Encourage them to reach out to a mental health professional or crisis resource. When appropriate and safe, help reduce their immediate access to lethal means.
If you believe someone is in immediate danger, seek emergency assistance. You can also call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline for support and guidance.
Bringing in additional help isn’t failing someone. It’s one of the ways we take their safety seriously.
Everyday Connection Can Support Suicide Prevention
Suicide prevention doesn’t always look like a serious conversation about suicide.
Sometimes, it looks like texting someone you haven’t heard from lately. It may mean asking a coworker how they’re actually doing or inviting a friend to dinner instead of simply saying, “Let me know if you need anything.”
Connection can also mean sitting with someone who is having a difficult day, following up after they’ve told you they’re struggling, or remembering that a certain date or anniversary may be especially difficult for them.
Even if someone seemed better yesterday, they may still benefit from a check-in today.
Keep reaching out. Continue showing up. Small moments of connection can remind someone that they are seen, valued, and not alone.
Remember to Follow Up
You don’t have to save someone’s life to make a difference in their life.
Sometimes suicide prevention looks like a crisis hotline. Other times, it looks like therapy. And sometimes, it looks like sitting on the kitchen floor with a friend and saying, “I’m here. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Suicide prevention is everyone’s responsibility. It often begins long before a person is in crisis, when ordinary people notice changes, ask difficult questions, listen without judgment, and help someone feel connected.
You Don’t Have to Navigate It Alone
If you or someone you care about is struggling, reaching out for support can be an important next step. The therapists at Vantage Counseling are here to provide compassionate, professional support and a safe space to talk through what you’re experiencing.
Contact Vantage Counseling to learn more or schedule an appointment: https://vantagemhs.com/contact-us/
If you or a loved one are experiencing thoughts of suicide or self-harm, please know that you are not alone and help is available. Call or text 988 to reach the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. These services are free, confidential, and available to anyone.
Sources
Suicide Prevention Month. NAMI. (2026). https://www.nami.org/stay-connected/events/ awareness-events/suicide-prevention-month/
Wolf, J. (2024, September 3). Preventing suicide through awareness and intervention. Mayo Clinic Health System. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking- of-health/awareness-and-intervention-help-with-suicide-prevention
